My Own Worst Critic

first_imgWhen you spend a lot of time by yourself, there comes a point when you simply get fed up with you.It’s the worst too, because you can’t blame anyone but you. There’s no scapegoat, no assistant that forgot to charge your battery or clear your memory card. There’s only you.If you’re like me, the times I really get on my nerves are when the stupidest, most preventable things happen.Like when I misplaced my key for the gajillionth time, only to realize that it slipped out of my pocket in an overgrown field in the dead of night under a new moon (side note, 45 minutes and a lot of cursing later, I found it).Or that time I lost my headlamp the first day I moved from my apartment into the Jeep (still haven’t found that sucker).Or how about just last week when I woke up early (I’m talking 4:45am) to see the lunar eclipse and sunrise, only to drive 45 minutes outside of town and realize that a) I’d forgotten my camera and b) I only had my Eddie Bauer RipPac rain jacket to keep me warm in the gusting mountaintop winds.Whhhyyyy I remember whining to myself. Why can’t this be easy?Immediately I gave myself a mental bitch-slap-across-the-face, chastising myself for such a foolish thought. That’s what I was asking myself? Why can’t this be easy? Really?Who told you this was going to be easy? Living on the road was your idea. You don’t even like when things are easy, I reminded myself.For the most part, that statement is pretty true. Especially when I was in school, I would get bored, apathetic even, when classes didn’t challenge me. I’d do the bare minimum to skate by, always managing to pump out an A (except ceramics, that blasted class). I thrive in the face of challenge (except in ceramics). Sometimes I flop and flail and fail, but it’s that working hard, that struggle, that motivates me.But living on the road is inherently hard, especially when you have this laundry list of traits that aren’t very conducive to a happy-go-lucky life-on-the-road. Disorganized, distracted. Not exactly what you’d want out of someone whose life fits into a Jeep Cherokee and a few Deuter packs.That being said, I’ve made leaps and bounds since I ditched my apartment at the end of April. I have a system of organized chaos down, I know (mostly) where everything is, and I’ve since adopted my friend’s double-triple-check technique before peeling out of a parking lot (that one came about after I drove down the main drag in West Asheville to a number of cars honking and lights flashing…apparently my CamelBak water bottle was riding high and dry between the crossbars…).Despite the progress, I’m no road warrior savant, as my less-than-ideal sunrise excursion last week proved.Thankfully, my space-cadet-self had left a charged GoPro in the passenger seat the night before the lunar eclipse. So with nothing more than that, my iPhone, and a perfectly functional (albeit slightly sluggish) memory, I followed my friends through the dark to the overlook just a 1/2 mile up the mountain to watch the sunrise.With every step I took up the muddy trail, I actually started to feel better about having forgotten my camera. It was kinda cloudy, kinda rainy.Maybe the sunrise won’t be that great, I convinced myself. We obviously weren’t going to see the lunar eclipse with the cloud coverage, so it’s not like I’d be missing any opportunity there.But when we reached the forest’s edge and the landscape opened up into a sweeping view of the mountains surrounding Boone, N.C., that earlier irritation with myself returned full-force.This sunrise was going to be brilliant.2014-10-08 07.52.53While my friends whipped out their tripods and fancy cameras and lenses and shot long exposures of the increasingly stunning sunrise, I sat on the damp rock, hugging my knees in a useless attempt to trap my body heat, and pouted. I took a few photos with the GoPro, some video to capture the wind, but that’s about all I could muster the creative energy to do.You’re useless, I kept saying to myself. Totally and utterly useless.I know. It sounds harsh, and I’ll be the first to admit I’m my own worst critic. But given that I’d been up early nearly every day that week already, staying up late working, sleeping little, and (due to the unpredictable weather in Boone) not shooting a lot, I was beyond annoyed that I woke up early that morning just to shoot the sunrise only to forget the most important piece of equipment to accomplish that.As the sun peaked over the horizon though, I had a change of heart.Not a significant change of heart, but a subtle one, mind you.For those of you that have taken the time to watch the sun rise, you’ll know that it happens fast. One moment, you can barely see the hint of glowing red peaking through the clouds. A blink of the eye later and the sun is big and full, high in the sky and beaming its golden light down below.As my friends scurried around furiously snapping away, worrying about underexposing or overexposing or which ISO to use or from what vantage point to shoot, I found myself content with simply sitting still and watching. Observing. I don’t do that a whole lot (remember the time I was sick?), and as I sat there, soaking in every second of the sun rising, I realized that I rarely do that. I rarely watch the sun rise without feeling obligated to snap a photo or shoot some video. It was a nice change of pace, a much-needed break from the norm. After the sun had made its way into the clouds above, I snapped a few photos with my iPhone and GoPro to document the morning and at least make an attempt to capture the beauty, but I hardly did it justice.DCIM101GOPROWho cares that I didn’t take an epic time lapse of the sunrise? Who cares that I didn’t get the shot? Aside from that little voice in my head, my own worst critic, the answer was nobody. What matters is that I was up early enough to see the sun rise at all, that I had breathed in a little bit of mountain air before most were even awake.So maybe it wasn’t that you forgot your camera. Maybe it was that you forgot to return a call, pay the electric bill on time, or show up to the doctor’s appointment you planned six months ago. Maybe it’s that this project you’ve poured your heart and soul into for the past semester didn’t turn out quite like you’d initially imagined it. Whatever it is that you did to disappoint yourself, forget it. Let it go, and remember that nobody’s perfect and everyone is their own worst critic. Cut yourself some slack and hop off that pedestal. If you don’t, it’s a long way to fall.last_img read more

3 With Long Island Ties Among Florida Massacre Victims

first_imgSign up for our COVID-19 newsletter to stay up-to-date on the latest coronavirus news throughout New York Three people with Long Island ties were among the 17 allegedly killed by a teenage gunman at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. on Valentine’s Day.Aaron Feis, a 37-year-old West Islip native, was a junior varsity football coach who reportedly shielded students with his body. Scott Biegel, a 35-year-old Dix Hills native, was a teacher who died while trying to protect students from the gunfire. And the parents of 17-year-old Meadow Pollack, whose funeral was Friday, were originally from Oceanside.“When Aaron Feis died … he did it protecting others, guarantee that because that’s who Aaron Feis was,” Broward County Sheriff Scott Israel told reporters. “He was one of the greatest people I knew. He was a phenomenal man.”The alleged gunman, 19-year-old Nicholas Cruz, an orphan who’s adopted mother was an LI native, was arrested shortly after the massacre and charged with 17 counts of murder. Biegel died while letting students in his classroom to escape the gunfire, survivors told Good Morning America.Pollack was a senior who had been accepted into Lynn University in Boca Raton. Her parents were Oceanside High School graduates.last_img read more

What’s in a name: Culture & Values Officer

first_img ShareShareSharePrintMailGooglePinterestDiggRedditStumbleuponDeliciousBufferTumblr continue reading » Travis Flora has spent 20 years at Commonwealth Credit Union ($1.2B, Frankfort, KY) immersed in the organization’s culture and values. Now, he’s in charge of them.Flora joined the credit union in 1996 and served in various marketing roles before taking on the newly created title and role of culture and values officer in April 2017. He’s in charge of the Team 1 Culture initiative that replaced the top-down, silo-heavy work environment of years past.Here, Flora describes what this new role is all about.last_img

Bulldogs Soccer Team Win Shoot Out Over Trojans

first_imgThe Batesville Bulldogs Boys Varsity Soccer team won a thrilling 2-1 shoot out victory against The East Central Trojans at The Dog Pound.  Batesville won the Shootout 3-1.Batesville vs. East Central Boys Soccer (9-29)The JV battled to a 1-1 tie.Courtesy of Bulldogs Coach Chris Fox.last_img

Balotelli talks progressing well

first_img Press Association Talks between Mario Balotelli’s representative and Liverpool are understood to be progressing well as the club seek assurances about the player’s behaviour – although any deal will not be completed in time for him to feature against Manchester City. A key aspect of those discussions is believed to be the Merseyside outfit’s desire to obtain some kind of guarantee about the discipline of the mercurial 24-year-old Italy international. Balotelli himself remains in his homeland for now and will not be able to take part in Liverpool’s Barclays Premier League clash with his former side City at the Etihad Stadium on Monday as the transfer would need to be completed by midday on Friday for him to be eligible. Balotelli on Thursday added credence to the reports that he is set to return to English football by saying it would be his last day at Milan’s training ground. The Serie A side followed that later with a statement on their website revealing he had said his farewells to his team-mates. Liverpool have been looking for a marquee striker to replace the departed Luis Suarez this summer but their interest in Balotelli represents a remarkable about-turn from around three weeks ago. When the Reds played Milan in a friendly in the United States, manager Brendan Rodgers expressed admiration for Balotelli but subsequently ”categorically” said he was not a target. Recently, however, a move for QPR’s Loic Remy has collapsed while interest in former Chelsea striker Samuel Eto’o has cooled and attempts to sign Radamel Falcao from Monaco seem unrealistic. With new signing Rickie Lambert the only frontline support for Daniel Sturridge and the transfer deadline nearing, a move for Balotelli has become more attractive. Balotelli is a proven performer and scored Italy’s winner in the World Cup opener against England in Manaus. But the baggage that comes with him is considerable. His spell at City from summer 2010 to January 2013 was a whirlwind one, with occasional sparkling performances interspersed with volatility on the field and erratic behaviour off it. His numerous misdemeanours famously included fireworks being set off in his bathroom, throwing a dart at a youth-team player and training-ground bust-ups with team-mates and manager Roberto Mancini. On the positive side he played a key role in the 2011 FA Cup win and contributed to the following year’s Premier League success, but he also hindered progress by accruing four red cards. City – for whom he scored a total of 30 goals in 80 appearances in all competitions – eventually tired of the circus surrounding him and offloaded the former Inter Milan player to his boyhood club AC Milan. Reports suggest the Reds have agreed a £16million fee with AC Milan for striker Balotelli’s proposed move to Anfield. And while Liverpool have not commented, Press Association Sport understands productive discussions involving Balotelli’s agent and the club took place in England on Thursday and are continuing on Friday. last_img read more